Over the past four years I’ve had a constant pull to “go toward my mountain.” I have a hard time explaining it. I’ve mentioned this mystic concept in previous posts, yet haven’t dove deeply via my writing. I have a few theories about this “pull” and what it means, yet cannot be certain what “my mountain” truly stands for, or frankly where to find it. The only thing I can tell you is that I believe it’s there, somewhere, beyond my current reach, yet calling me toward it.
The road trip with Murphy last summer covered 25 states over a seven week period of time. Needless to say, over eight thousand miles of windshield time was quite the journey. I still look back and can picture certain moments with vivid clarity. I will never regret that trip, quite the opposite actually. Which is why I cannot turn my back on the next journey, which I know from deep within, at a spirit level, that I must take. I must venture out once again.
Last year I planned the majority of my stops ahead of time. Murphy is a certified Emotional Support Animal thanks to the Federal Government permitting this. He certainly played this role wonderfully last year, and he will again (God willing) be riding shotgun on my upcoming road trip. As I reflect on last year’s travels I realize how planned it was, down to pinpoint details, well in advance of our launch date. While I did make a few modifications on the way, I had a course and schedule which we adhered to for the most part. I felt I had to fully plan the trip given the need for a pet-friendly facility at each stop, and in an attempt to get favorable advanced pricing. I learned toward the end of our trip that Murph can go into any hotel, thanks to his certification, so I realized all that planning wasn’t actually necessary. The trip kicked off the inspirational journey reflected in this blog’s title: My Surrender Project. Ironically though, how much was I truly SURRENDERING when I planned nearly every aspect ahead of time?
Where would I go if I had no plan to head in any specific direction? Where would I go if I simply “let the wind take my sails?” What if I left without knowing where we would sleep each each night? Well, Murphy and I will soon find out.
Simply put- June is going to serve as another adventure with Murph. Remington (puppy Dachshund) will be staying behind with someone very trustworthy and loving. The adventure Murphy and I are about to experience is the sequel to last year’s trip, yet this time we’re SURRENDERING much more of our journey. I plan to be present and let each day come as it should. If I want to sleep in my SUV I will do so on a any given night. Whether I choose to stay in one place for three days or three weeks will be a decision I make day by day. I am hoping to feel my way closer to “my mountain,” by fully SURRENDERING this time around. I don’t know where God wants to guide me, but I now realize I have nowhere to go, yet some place to be.
Do you ever feel like you’re being called on an adventure, yet you’re not sure where to start? Do you ever feel like there is a small whisper of chasing your JOY that you cannot quite identify amidst life’s busy schedule? I do. I feel like this calling has been an underlying spiritual current welling up within me over the past few years. I still seek answers to several questions: what is the meaning of this underlying pull for spiritual awakening and adventure, what/where is “my mountain,” and why this next adventure? I’m guessing I’ll find out when God knows I’m ready.
I’m learning that shedding the conformed/conditioned mind is a major process in life. Romans 12:2 is a staple verse for MY SURRENDER PROJECT, and it’s a verse I try to remind myself of daily. I want to allow God to transform me from the inside out, and I realize SURRENDERING to Him is the only real way this can occur. I believe “my mountain” could simply be symbolic for a deepening relationship with God overall, and is perhaps a life-long pursuit of His presence in my life. Perhaps “my mountain” is the shedding process, the cleansing of self that only the water of a beautiful stream tucked along the side of a mountain can provide- God’s water. Perhaps “my mountain” reflects prolonged self forgiveness or an enhancement of self-love. I have a vision of this stream that I often visit when I meditate. I’ve had visions with Jesus there on several occasions. Perhaps “my stream” and “my mountain” are one in the same, or perhaps they’re totally different. I don’t pretend to know all the answers, I simply know that I have nowhere to go, yet someplace to be.
We are all on our own journey. I plan to continue permitting myself to live life outside the parameters of the world’s expectations. I plan to continue being the good kind of crazy (another motto of mine). I am deciding that my adventures didn’t stop last September when we returned home from our last road trip. I suspect I may have many more adventures to come. I suspect this chapter of seeking and chasing JOY is only just beginning. Someone said to me recently that “soul searching is a life long process,” once again solidifying the saying “it’s about the journey, not the destination.” Perhaps I’ll find some answers this June on this unscripted road trip with Murph, or perhaps I’ll just find a little more peace. Perhaps I’ll have revelations, or perhaps simply more time for reflection. Regardless, I’m going to go where my heart and spirit are called right now: toward God, toward further SURRENDERING, and toward my continued soul searching expedition.
I hope you’ll follow along. I hope you too will give time to chase your JOY, be the good kind of crazy and permit God to transform your heart and renew your mind.
Much love and God Bless!